New England Intergroup of SLAA

About S.L.A.A.

The S.L.A.A. Preamble

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous© is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition - oriented fellowship, based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous.

The only qualification for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. S.L.A.A. is supported entirely through the contributions of its membership, and is free to all who need it.

To counter the destructive consequences of sex and love addiction we draw on five major resources:

Sobriety. Our willingness to stop acting out in our own personal bottom-line addictive behavior on a daily basis.

Sponsorship / Meetings. Our capacity to reach out for the supportive fellowship within S.L.A.A.

Steps. Our practice of the Twelve Step program of recovery to achieve sexual and emotional sobriety.

Service. Our giving back to the S.L.A.A. community what we continue to freely receive.

Spirituality. Our developing a relationship with a Power greater than ourselves which can guide and sustain us in recovery.

As a fellowship, S.L.A.A. has no opinion on outside issues, and seeks no controversy. S.L.A.A. is not affiliated with any other organizations, movements or causes, either religious or secular.

We are, however, united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional behavior. We find a common denominator in our obsessive/compulsive patterns which renders any personal differences of sexual or gender orientation irrelevant.

We need protect with special care the anonymity of every S.L.A.A. member. Additionally, we try to avoid drawing undue attention to S.L.A.A. as a whole from the public media.

Signs of Recovery

We seek to develop a daily relationship with a Higher Power, knowing that we are not alone in our efforts to heal ourselves from our addiction.
We are willing to be vulnerable because the capacity to trust has been restored to us by our faith in a Higher Power.
We surrender, one day at a time, our whole life strategy of, and our obsession with, the pursuit of romantic and sexual intrigue and emotional dependency
We learn to avoid situations that may put us at risk physically, morally, psychologically or spiritually.
We learn to accept and love ourselves, to take responsibility for our lives, and take care of our own needs before involving ourselves with others.
We become willing to ask for help, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and learning to trust and accept others.
We allow ourselves to work through the pain of our low self esteem and our fears of abandonment and responsibility. We learn to feel comfortable in solitude.
We begin to accept our imperfections and mistakes as a part of being human, healing our shame and perfectionism while working on our character defects.
We begin to substitute honesty for self destructive ways of expressing emotions and feelings.
We become honest in expressing who we are, developing true intimacy in our relationships with ourselves and others.
We learn to value sex as a by-product of sharing, commitment, trust, and cooperation in a partnership.
We are restored to sanity, on a daily basis, by participating in the process of recovery.

Preface to Step 10

Now we were truly feeling some sense of deep release from the past! We were free of much guilt for our misdeeds, from the shame of having fallen short of our inner values. In many instances the values we had thought were ours had turned out to be someone else's, and we had shed or changed these to allow the seeds of our own personal wholeness to take root and grow.

We were indeed living new, positive, unfolding lives. Whether in partnership with others or in solitude, we had truly been granted a spiritual release from our sex and love addiction. While vigilance was still important, the choices we had to make now seemed easier. We felt increasing confidence in our developing partnership with God, and were full participants in the Fellowship of S.L.A.A. We enjoyed solitude and were unafraid of honesty and openness with others. We could comprehend what it means to have dignity of self.

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